Category: Spring 2013

Which would you rather take, a million dollars on the first of a 30-day month or a penny doubled every day for those 30 days?

Do you know that if you take the penny doubled that by the end of the month you will have received over 10 million dollars, and over 5 million dollars on the last day alone?

I see that as a metaphor for the power of collaboration.

Two years ago while living in France I was laid flat by a stomach virus (see this post from January 10, 2011). I hadn’t been that sick in a long time and, to put it in perspective, that last time was with appendicitis. Melinda and Chloe were away, and Ella was with me. Not only that, Ella had the same bug.

Being sick and alone so far from home could cause one to feel very lonely. Instead, a neighbor showed up with bread and soup. Another friend not only asked if there was anything she could do, she phoned Ella’s school to make sure they’d know she would be out for a few days.

At one time these things may have sounded small. I know better now.

I just started an online kindness class called Kindness Blessings that involves the reading of a book called “My Grandfather’s Blessings” written by Rachel Naomi Remen. Early in the book (the first sentence in chapter one, in fact), Remen tells the reader that most people are given more blessings than they receive.

I find this to be a very interesting comment and am spending a lot of time thinking about it. To me, it means that we need to refine our ability to receive things. But I think it’s even more than that.

I think it has more to do with refining our ability to NOTICE things.

I think that seeing the world with childlike wonder is the actual fountain of youth. It keeps us young. We’ve all seen people who seem younger than they really are. Every time, when I see one of these people, they have a special twinkle in their eyes. It’s that childlike wonder sparkling through.

Take a minute to see if any part of this rings true for you. If not, visualize a classic picture of Santa Claus. There it is.

At its depth, I think our role as parents is like that of a gardener who understands what is necessary for a flower to emerge. You can’t force a flower to grow before it is ready, nor can you make it into something it is not. All you can do is provide your best effort in seeing the right nutrients are present and removing those things that threaten it from fulfilling its potential.

More or less that means to stay out of the way.

As parents, we want our children to learn from our experiences so we provide them all kinds of advice. Some of us even get upset with them when they don’t take it.

Go figure.

Sometimes, though, we understand the importance of allowing our children the space and time to figure out things in their own ways. Deep down we know that while we may be more efficient at feeding a one year-old, for instance, we know it’s in her best interest to handle the spoon herself. We clean up the mess, knowing it’s all part of the development process.

Some things people just have to learn for themselves.

In my teaching of adolescents I suggest that every situation has a 360 degree perception about it. If you are able to see a situation from all perspectives, all around it, you would be seeing it from 360 degrees and understand it wholly. But that’s impossible, of course, despite people often believing they know the absolute truth about something.

So I ask my students, “From how many degrees are you seeing this situation? What can you do to increase that number?”

Here’s another idea to consider as a metaphor. Do you recycle the garbage that comes your way?

In other words, are you ever able to take something messy and make it into something clean and useful? I tend to think of garbage as useless, a space-taker. It’s like the clutter of the planet, or of one’s thoughts. And I see recycling as transforming one thing into something else. It reuses rather than wastes. It’s a loving act in its purest form, like how the flame of one candle can light an infinite number of other candles.

Someone who can take garbage, the garbage of others no less, and make it into something useful has tapped into what it means to be human at one of our deepest levels.

Consider this quote:

“Much of what we do is like planting trees under which we may never sit, but plant we must.” — Brother James Kimpton

Me, I think “planting trees” is a metaphor for my actions. How does my behavior create my reality, my opportunities, how others see me, and more? In each moment I am planting a tree. I may not ever sit directly under it to enjoy its shade, but someone else will.

What do I want to leave behind?

What do you know by heart?

Commonly used, to “know something by heart” means to know it really well, to having memorized it. It’s an expression we use with children when trying to help them recall important information, like their home addresses and telephone numbers.

But I’ve come to see it as also meaning to know something from inside my heart. You know, when you just know something is true or right or pure? I think that’s also knowing something by heart.

I’m paying extra attention to notice what I know by heart. I believe the more attention I pay to things I know by heart, the more I engage in activities I know by heart, the more people I interact with who I know by heart, the more I’m aware of the nice things the world has to say to me.