Andy Smallman

So do you think by calling this entry “safe sex” the blog will get more hits than usual for a Tuesday, typically one of the lighter days for visitors?

Actually, though, it was in finding this picture as part of my scanning marathon than inspired the entry. Yup, that’s Melinda and me from the year 2000, just before heading outside to attempt to remove the asbestos siding from our house, part of the remodeling efforts. We got it in our minds that we could save a lot of money doing this work ourselves.

Now let me say that this is probably true. But removing asbestos siding is no walk in the park. After a half day of breaking siding and undoubtedly spreading asbestos throughout the neighborhood (okay, I’m exaggerating again), we hired professional asbestos removers. And the marriage survived.

Speaking of which, if you ever do undertake a major house remodeling effort, be sure to include marriage counseling in the budget.

Today’s Prompt: Tell about a time when you bit off a project that was too much for you to chew.

Back in December, the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, for whom I blog, sent a film crew from California up to Seattle to spend a day hanging out at PSCS. The short film below is the result. I submit it as today’s post, along with the following prompt:

Today’s Prompt: What’s the most important thing YOU learned in school?

That’s the attitude that Dwight, Melinda’s dad, instilled in Melinda. It’s such good advice. If someone else has learned something, you can learn the same thing. It’s the attitude that guided our remodel. You see, there is no way we could have afforded the house and the remodel if Melinda and her dad did not have that attitude.

As a couple of people suggested in the comments to yesterday’s post, Dwight was instrumental in our house being what it is today. Not only did he instill the “you can do it” attitude in Melinda, he partnered with her in the swinging of the sledge hammer, the pounding of the nail, the turning of the screw, the moving of the wire, the installation of the pipe, the…

And in honor of Dwight, I hereby present this photo of him hard at work in 1998 putting in the first stair of the first staircase to be moved.

Today’s Prompt: What is an attitude or important life lesson you learned from a parent?

From the moment we first looked at our house (we hadn’t even made an offer yet), the remodeling began. This will make sense to you if you know Melinda, who is constantly designing and seeing things the way they could be. That first day, when we “looked,” I stayed in the car with the girls, both in car seats and at least one crying (wait, that might have been me). From the outside of the house I could just tell it wasn’t going to work for us. But Melinda couldn’t resist. “Just a quick look,” she said, not waiting for any kind of a response from me.

She returned to the car with her eyes on fire and a two syllable exclamation, “It’s us!”

That was in 1998 and that fall Melinda and her dad moved two staircases (more accurately – built two new staircases and destroyed two old ones). In the fall of 1999 the kitchen expansion began. Today’s photo comes from January, 2000 and inside said kitchen. Does Melinda look exhausted?

Today’s Prompt: What’s your remodeling story?

13 months ago I started jogging. The first time I did it I ran for about 5 minutes and felt like my legs were going to fall off and my lungs might explode. I was surprised and disillusioned. I considered myself to be in decent shape, but what, I couldn’t even run for 5 minutes without needing to stop?

Still, I stuck with it. The next time I went out I managed 10 minutes and realized that it wasn’t just a physical challenge I was facing, it was a psychological one. I continued to work on both, with persistence and patience, two forms of self-kindness that have benefited me.

Last November I ran the half marathon of the Seattle Marathon, 10 months after thinking 5 minutes of running was going to kill me. I’m planning to run a full marathon in 2013, the year I turn 50. I might even try the full Seattle Marathon this year in November.

Running helps me feel great, and this has spread to other parts of my life.

Today’s Prompt: What do you do for exercise?

I got a heart-felt thank you from a student today at the end of the school day. It was one of those moments that catch you a tiny bit off guard, but you recognize their significance immediately. Unfortunately, I kind of deflected it, responding with a “Thank YOU” comment of my own which may have diminished what the student was trying to express to me. Thinking about this, it got me reflecting on things like appreciations, and gratitudes and thank yous, and that took me to this site of “amazing thank you notes.” I encourage you to take a look.

To illustrate this post, I present a photo of Chloe and my dad from over 10 years ago. Chloe had attended a summer camp on the subject of cooking and included were lessons in etiquette. The week concluded with the students treating guests to a dinner and my parents were invited. I snapped this picture. It somehow seemed apt for this post.

Today’s Prompt: Write (maybe even send!) a thank you note to someone who has done something significant for you.

Yesterday’s photo, which I really didn’t talk about, was of Melinda and a very young Ella, Ella looking quite surprised. I used it to illustrate my late night surprise Valentine’s Day gift to Melinda of her favorite raw cookies in a decorative tin (it was a huge hit, what Melinda described as the perfect gift).

That photo, along Melinda’s delight last night, got me thinking how fun it is to surprise someone, which reminded me of this video. Perhaps you’ve seen it. It’s of a bus driver getting the surprise of his life, to the point of tears.

In the spirit of kindness and surprises, today’s prompt is not about having you responding to a question, it’s to encourage you to act.

Today’s Prompt: Surprise someone.

Shhh!!! It’s almost 9pm and I still haven’t given Melinda her Valentine’s Day gift yet. So, yes, you need to keep the secret because I’m about to tell it to you. Can you do it, can you keep the secret?

Good.

To understand the gift, you have to know that Melinda has really taken a shine to raw foods. And she also loves (LOVES) chocolate. A couple of months ago I found for her at a local grocery store a raw chocolate dessert, chocolate macaroons. She loved (LOVED) them and because of their high price (something like a thousand dollars per bite – okay, so I exaggerate), she took it upon herself to start making them at home. By and large, she’s been successful.

But I got her a tin of the originals. And tonight at bedtime, she’ll find that tin on her pillow.

Today’s Prompt: What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve ever received or given?

Be remarkable, yes indeed. That’s the theme I offered this week in my ongoing kindness class. Then I found this picture of Ella from 1999. She’s two years-old, and pretty darn remarkable. She had been doing some painting, watercolors as I recall, and then used her brushes and the dirty water to paint/dye her hands and forearms. She’s wearing a PSCS t-shirt, also stained from the painting. But if you were to ask Melinda, you want to know the most remarkable thing about Ella in this picture?

Yes, it’s her shoes. Saddle shoes. And fine looking saddle shoes, they are.

In terms of being remarkable, the idea is to do the small things in a way that will have someone with whom you come in contact want to talk about you around his dinner table. So go on now. Talk about Ella.

Today’s Prompt: Who did you see today that was remarkable?

Tomorrow marks the start of Random Acts of Kindness Week. As many of you know, for years I’ve facilitated kindness classes, many of them taking place online. In fact, I have one taking place right now. Feel free to join in!

In support of the week I’m planning to give the concept of kindness a little more focus here this week. And I’m kicking it off by celebrating the artist with whom I’m working to illustrate the kind themes I suggest each week in the current class. He goes by the name Fish Astronaut and you can find him online. That’s how I found him, at least, and I asked if he’d do some drawings for me. What he’s produced has far exceeded my hopes and wishes.

Today’s image is one of Fish’s most recent drawings, used to illustrate the theme “Do Something Kind For Yourself.”

Today’s Prompt: Do something kind for yourself.