Andy Smallman

A big part of Melinda’s and my parenting style can be summed up quite simply – it’s to create and maintain a loving environment that allows our kids to feel safe. Feeling safe, they naturally challenge themselves, moving from one developmental stage to the next in a way that makes the distinctions between the stages invisible.

Of course, this is much easier said than done. But I think it IS possible to stay rooted on the concept of a loving environment.

I love today’s picture of Ella, what actually inspired this post. It’s from 1998, right after we moved into our house in Seattle. We found the American flag on our doorstep, a gift from a realtor. And notice the saltwater sandal in her mouth and the yellow Converse sneakers on the floor to the right. Just what might Ella be thinking here?

Today’s Prompt: Summarize a life philosophy of yours in a sentence.

Melinda is good at moving her body through space. As you can see in today’s photo, she’s capable of doing a really good cartwheel (while I stand by with a goofy look on my face). She can also do things like a headstand and other advanced yoga poses. And then there was the time she did the flying trapeze, a story for another day.

But finding this photo in our archive and considering a post for today got me thinking about those things in which one feels head over heels excitement. I’m good at that! For instance, I just got Melinda and me tickets to see Elvis Costello in Seattle in April.

I’m really excited!

Today’s Question: What is something that gets you head over heels excited?

I got this message today from Stephanie, our niece, who is living in Spain, currently teaching English:

I thought of you today! I went on a 45-minute run (my longest yet, hooray!) and on my way out, I passed a man with a German shepard. We smiled at each other and I kept running. Then after a while, I turned around and headed back and passed him again. He had a cherry blossom in his hand and he held it out to me. He said, ‘Take this, for your incredible willpower!’ And the whooole rest of my run seemed easier, because that phrase just kept playing over and over in my head. It felt like an Andy-moment to me, so I thought I’d share.

I love it that Stephanie would take the time to share a story like that with me.

Today’s photo goes back 10 years or so and is of Stephanie on a Smallman family vacation.

Today’s Question: Recount a special interaction you’ve had recently with a family member.

Featured with me in today’s photo, taken this morning, is a young man named Simon or Si. I met Si in 1986 when he was 5. Meeting Si and subsequently working closely with him and his family is one of the most, if not THE most, significant milepost in my life. I was a 23 year-old undergrad interested in working with children, most likely as a teacher. The experience of working and otherwise spending time with Si made clear for me what kind of teacher, really, what kind of person, I want(ed) to be, the kind who accepts people as they are.

I was in Olympia yesterday and spent the night at Si’s house, renewing my relationship with him and his amazing parents, Bob & Griselda. They shared their Sabbath dinner with me and provided me a lovely place to sleep. Mostly, as they have done since 1986, they nurtured my soul.

Please nurture your soul by learning more about Si here.

Today’s Question: What is a significant milepost from your life?

Click on the photo to enlarge it and then study it for a minute. It’s pretty good product placement, don’t you think? It might appear that Chloe and I (yes, that’s us, from August 1993) are spokespeople for Earth’s Best Organic Baby Food.

I mean, just look at Chloe. She’s so excited she can’t get all the food in her mouth. It’s on her hands, her face, the bib. And me, I’m so excited I apparently have forgotten personal grooming. Facial hair, chest hair, long, long hair. What, were there no barbers nearby in 1993?

Actually, this picture comes from Chloe’s first experience with solid food, if you can call pureed carrots solid food. It’s part of my recent photo scanning festival.

Today’s Question: What’s your favorite meal?

This one may be more for you parents out there although I encourage everyone to play along by considering this as it pertains to yourself. Today’s question asks you to share something silly or funny you’ve done with (to?) your child.

For instance, today’s photo comes from a trip to Idaho Melinda, Chloe and I took in 1994. Chloe was a toddler, as you may be able to tell, and the house at which we were staying had some beautiful landscaping that included this fountain. We put Chloe in the fountain and snapped a series of pictures, this being but one. We laughed and laughed.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe our children survive to adulthood.

Today’s Question: What’s a nutty thing you’ve done with your kid?

Yesterday I introduced you to Michael who just so happens to be a plumber. He was back at PSCS today and fixed another toilet. Today I met Bob, the man who came and removed the tree that fell overnight across the walkway entrance to the school. Tonight, Melinda and I met Perry, the notary who came to our house to assist in the process we undertook to take advantage of lower interest rates and refinance our home loan.

I made a point of talking to each person and referring to them by name, something I intend to make a more regular practice.

Oh, the named girl in today’s photo is, in fact, Chloe, as I hope you can tell. Yes, Chloe, as in our daughter who is now in college.

Today’s Question: Who is a real person you saw today?

Long story short. We had a plumbing issue at PSCS today. Michael, seen in today’s picture, was the plumber who made things right. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with him and asked if he might pose next to the site of his fine work (yeah, he replaced a valve in the urinal) and give me permission to post the photo and a short story on the Internet.

You see, Michael is a natural teacher who just so happens to be a plumber. More importantly, he is a thoughtful human being who cares about quality. He asked me about the school to gain insight into the work he does with apprentice plumbers. He listened carefully and asked insightful questions.

The whole experience got me thinking how often I take for granted the people who come to my house or to my place of work to provide a service. Do I see “the plumber” or do I see a person?

Today I met Michael, a person.

Today’s Question: What’s the name of the person who delivers your mail?

The adorable child in today’s picture is none other than Melinda (remember, click on a photo to see it enlarged). I found it while looking through our boxes of stored photographs. I don’t recall ever having seen it before and, in a word, I think it’s fantastic. It should be framed and put up in our house.

That being said, Melinda sometimes accuses me of wanting to turn our house into a museum. I like museums. I wouldn’t mind living in one. And if I did live in a museum I WOULD fill the walls with pictures like this one. Others, too, like those my great-grandfather took of his son, my maternal grandfather, when he was a little boy. And I’ve got my collection of vintage Ravenna Park postcards and…

Hmmm… Maybe I should put those postcards on CraigsList.

Today’s Question: What is the oldest item on display in your house?

Today’s photo is hot off the scanner. That’s Melinda and me, you bet. And the animal with us is a horse. Our horse. A 3 year-old filly by Table Run fresh off the racetrack. Yup, way back in 1991 we rented a farm on the Sammamish plateau and bought a horse. Melinda named her Sasha.

My horse trainer friend Tom, who brokered Sasha’s purchase for us, said a couple of funny things the day he delivered the horse. The first was said with a little more serious tone than the second. He told me that he hoped our friendship survived him bringing us a horse.

The second thing he said, punctuated by his big booming laugh, is something I’ve heard in reference to other purchases, like cars and boats. About the horse Tom said, “You can never tell your favorite day as a horse owner. The day you buy the horse or the day you sell it.”

Today’s Question: Have you ever made a purchase like that?