My dad died yesterday, having suffered a stroke overnight. Due to my mom’s awareness and fast-thinking, he was transported to the emergency room where local family members were able to be with him at the moment he passed away. Melinda & I were able to be with them all, and him, from France via FaceTime.
My dad turned 89 in July and had a marvelous life, including his marriage of nearly 65 years to my mom, raising three sons, being involved & seeing his seven grandchildren become adults, and knowing three great-grandchildren.
And as deaths go, his was pretty good. Having set the table for breakfast on Saturday night for him and my mom, he awoke at around 2am Sunday in a somewhat disoriented state that quickly deteriorated. He left his body less than five hours later. The doctor told us he didn’t suffer.
You could say he had a great life and a good death.
I’m including a few photos below as an initial tribute, captioned for context. And for anyone who’d like to know him a tiny bit better, here are some other times I’ve written about him:
- On My Father’s Shoulders
- 17 April 2020 : Beer With Grandad
- 13 July 2017 : My Old Man
- 7 November 2010 : A Day at the Races
Andy Smallman 
Thank you for your blog. This listing is such a nice way to keep us all informed, and I especially appreciate the photos, old and new. I sure enjoyed the limited time I spent visiting with your Dad, and , of course, the many stories I’ve heard about his life. What a guy! Sending love to you and yours.
Thanks so much, Julie.
1:15am Seattle time. You and Melinda may be traveling or home now close to your mom. Thanks for sharing your stories of your dad and pictures. Your mom has her family’s love and support surrounding her. Our fathers walk with us always
Thanks so much for taking the time to write, Martine, and for sharing such a warm thought.
I wish I knew what to say. We were with my brother in law (my husband’s twin) by FaaceTime when he died in France last year. We didn’t make it to France until the next day. My 86 yr old father fell down my stairs last Monday (survived), and your story resonates with me viscerally. My heart goes out to you.
Beckie
Thanks so much, Beckie. Sometimes just saying something supportive is the right thing to say, at least in my experience. Thanks for sharing your stories as a way to empathize with mine. And I’m so glad your dad is okay!
Dear Andy,
My deepest condolences to you and your family on the sudden and unexpected passing of your father. I appreciate your honoring of him in this way that all of us who know you and may have known him to bear witness to your rememberings and what you transmit of who he was and what he brought to life. Amazing too to see Alex, Chloe and Remy! Warm regards to you and Melinda
It’s so lovely to hear from you, Julia. I can hear your voice and see your face saying these soothing words. And what an example of life moving forward I’ve had lately – the birth of a grandson in May and the death of my father in July. I will forever have a video of my dad holding Remy and quietly talking to him, with his deep voice, about Goldilocks, Remy just looking and looking at him the whole time. Please pass along hellos to the rest of your family. –A
A good life and a good death are what we wish for our loved ones. Still, not having them with us is hard. May your fond memories carry you through your grief.
I’ve just come across this post. I’d like to say how sorry I am to hear about your dad. My dad had a stroke in December. It was first thing in the morning and my mum saw it happening. He’s had another once since, but 8 month’s on we are extremely lucky to still have him with us. We don’t know how much longer we have with him, he’s 87 now. So I try to make sure and make the most of my time with him. Your post makes me appreciate even more that we still have him here. My sincerest condolences to you all. Heather.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments and kind words. Indeed, enjoy the time you have with your father. Most warmly, –Andy