Andy Smallman

At school this week I’ve been interviewing members of the staff in front of interested students. My interviews are based on the BBC Radio program Desert Island Discs in which “castaways” are asked to share 8 songs they would take with them if they were to be stranded on a deserted island (I’m asking the staff for 5). In sharing the songs, they get to talk about themselves, the songs being a way to gain insight into the person. PSCS being based as it is on human connection, I thought it would be a great way for the students to better know the staff. And I’m hoping that in future weeks some of the students will allow me to interview them.

Anyway, the tables are being turned on Friday and one of the students is going to interview me about my 5 songs. That got me thinking, of course. One of these songs, “Why” by Annie Lennox, is being chosen by me because it takes me right back to the time illustrated in today’s photo, Chloe’s birth and the months just after. Becoming a parent is a pretty significant life change, and this song works about as well as a time machine would in taking me there.

Today’s Prompt: Identify up to 5 songs you’d take with you to a deserted island.

I just finished my Tuesday jog, and included the southern tip of Ravenna Park, right near our house, as part of it. I jogged through last Thursday, as well, amidst a significant police presence. Turns out a man was killed there in the wee hours of Thursday morning. And as I feared, it turns out the man killed was someone I’d regularly see on most of my runs through the park.

I never knew his name but his presence was unmistakable. Large and foreboding, he regularly occupied a park bench, yes, the bench in today’s photo. Like others, I saw him as a kind of park guardian, a superhero of sorts. And truth be told, I also found him somewhat intimidating and scary. I had designs on approaching him and talking to him, thinking his story might make a good story for my Kind Living blog.

Too late for that. Alpha Lake Rajai, Ravenna Park guardian, was killed while trying to defend himself. If you care to, learn more at The Seattle Times story.

This post is intended as a tribute to Mr. Rajai, much as is his bench in the park today.

Today’s Prompt: Share a tribute to someone you know.

So is the title of the book Chloe is holding in today’s photo, taken during the birthday weekend we spent with her in Canada two weeks ago. Now before you go thinking this was a gift from Melinda, let me set the record straight. This was a gift from Brenda, Melinda’s sister. Yeah, maybe they have some secret agreement to make sure they support each others’ parenting or something. But I don’t want you thinking that Melinda gave the book to Chloe. Directly, that is.

At the Amazon link for the book I found an example of how one’s mother might be right. See what you think:

Q: How can I keep a friendship platonic? A: Give him advice, especially about the way he drives.

Does that mean Melinda wants our relationship to be platonic?

Well, the subtitle is, “All the Great Advice You Tried to Forget.”

Today’s Prompt: What’s the best advice you received from your mother?

I’ll finish my Vacation Guy trilogy with today’s post, including a photo I just took of the esteemed stuffed toy, taken nearly 15 years after he entered Ella’s life. As you can tell, he has been fully loved by her, so much so that in true Velveteen Rabbit terms, he is undoubtedly real (and has been for years).

Ella would gently rub his face while falling off to sleep each night, the loving he received there being obvious. Several years ago, my mother sewed on “gloves,” replacing the originals that had been worn through. I remember how nervous Ella was when Vacation Guy went in for glove surgery, and how excited she was when he emerged looking so good.

A similar experience was had each time Vacation Guy went for a bath (the washing machine). That form of bath was a little too hard on him so next he got the Woolite treatment in the sink. Ultimately, though, the concern of hurting him was too great and the baths ceased.

Vacation Guy no longer sleeps with Ella but is kept on her nightstand, right next to her bed.

Today’s Prompt: Describe your favorite toy.

So I gave Ella this advice when she was little, thinking she might be dumb like I was when I got to be 12 or 13. You see, I had an important soft toy when I was little. In fact, I had several of them. Bunny, Pooh Bear, Kanga, Eeyore and others. And when I got to be a certain age, 12 or 13, when these important toys had all been packed away into a box and put in the garage, I thought I was too big for them. Truth be told, I was kind of embarrassed by them.

I’m sad to say, I gave them away.

So the I gave advice I gave Ella was … “When you think you’ve outgrown Vacation Guy, when you get to the point that you think you really don’t need him anymore, when you go crazy ’cause you’re a teenager … Just give Vacation Guy to me for safe keeping.”

“When you come to your senses, I’ll give him back to you.”

That’s what I told Ella.

Today’s Prompt: What’s something *crazy* you did as a teen?

In Ella’s hands here is Vacation Guy, so named because she got him in 1997 while we were on a vacation. The four of us were in Sun River, Oregon and we found a little toy store in town. There on the shelves was the cute, soft, cuddly doll, perfect for 8 month old Ella. It became THE soft toy, the one that stayed with her wherever she went, including to bed in her arms each night. I believe in psychology they call such a thing the “transitional object.”

Over the years, Vacation Guy’s family grew. I found his “female” (pink) compatriot on, of all things, eBay and “won” her for Ella. This doll became Vacation Girl. Then there was Vacation Kid and Vacation Joey. Each of these had their own song, part of Ella’s bedtime ritual.

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow when I tell about some sound advice I gave to Ella about Vacation Guy.

Today’s Prompt: Share a story about your most important soft toy, pillow or blanket.

I’m excited to say that I’ve started to blog for Ode Magazine. This is a big deal as I think it will generate more awareness of my kindness efforts and, more importantly, PSCS. My first post was published yesterday. Please go take a look at it, maybe even read it and, better yet, leave a comment. The more “hits” it gets, the more Ode will be pleased.

Also, while I’m tooting my own horn, I want to make sure you are aware that I’m offering a more “advanced” online kindness class this spring. Called “The Power of Kindness,” participants in this class will receive an “assignment” from me each Sunday that involves reading from Piero Ferruci’s book called (get this) “The Power of Kindness,” then contemplating and completing an act of kindness related to the reading. Mid-week I’ll post a message of inspiration and then close each week with a message of reflection. If you are interested in participating, let me know via the comments section here. The class begins April 8.

Today’s Prompt: What is something for which you are proud of yourself?

Back on Saturday I posted a picture of Chloe in Paris in the year 2000, making a face of astonishment in front of her meal, it having been delivered with a poached egg on top. I’ve always found the picture to be especially funny, given Chloe was used to meals with, shall we say, less elegant presentations. Today’s photo comes from the same meal but this time I’m featuring 3 year-old Ella’s involvement with what was delivered for the dessert. If I’m not mistaken, I think she’s searching for the chocolate.

Which reminds me of this great story from 1999. At a dinner at Aunt Brenda’s & Uncle Greg’s house, one in which Brenda had placed several decadent chocolates at each person’s plate, Ella quickly seized the moment and stuffed her mouth with said chocolates. Ever polite and with a mix of chocolate and saliva dripping from her chin, Ella asked her aunt, “More candy please.”

Today’s Prompt: What’s your favorite dessert?

So said Frédérique to me today, via email. She was talking about the picture I used on the blog to celebrate her daughter Manon’s birthday on Sunday, specifically how Manon & Chloe have become such good friends. Back in 2000 when Manon was 5 and Chloe was 7, who could have predicted that they would describe themselves as sisters today?

But I want to go a step further about life’s good surprises and mention how much I appreciate receiving that email from Frédérique today, seeing that it is her birthday. A year ago today our families were together to celebrate at Les Carroz. I took several pictures of Frédérique that day with her birthday cake but she wouldn’t let me use any of them on the blog.

This year, however, I get to use this one taken in Nantes earlier today by Laurent and sent to me via email.

Happy birthday, Frédérique!

Today’s Prompt: Share a “good surprise” you’ve had lately.

At what point do you stop referring to someone as your friend’s kid sister or, as in this case with today’s photo, my wife’s kid sister? Heck, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever referred to anyone as anyone’s kid sister. So I probably don’t know what I’m talking about and you should get on to reading the rest of this post.

Speaking of which, this post that is, today is Melinda’s kid sister’s birthday so I went searching through the family archives for a suitable photo and found this one. That’s Melinda, the big sister, next to Brenda, the kid sister, and both girls in front of Michele, the mother. I think it’s a great early 70’s shot. And given the fact that I am the kid brother to two older brothers, I think I can relate to Brenda’s hand being on her head.

Oy vey.

Today’s Prompt: Share a story about a sibling.