We took Celeste to the Puyallup Fair today, the “we” being Melinda and me. I was very helpful throughout the day. First, I helped Celeste learn how to pronounce Puyallup. It’s “pew,” like something smells bad (or a seat in a church). Then “Al,” my dad’s name. And finally “Up,” the opposite of down.

All together now, “Pew,” “Al,” “Up.” Perfect. Extra credit if you say it with a French accent.

As you can see in the first photo, I also broke the rules of the fair by touching Celeste. That’s my hand in the lower left, clearly violating the posted rules. My bad. I did explain to a sheep not to touch Celeste. And I sang “Happy Birthday” to a cow who will turn 4 on Monday. While I was doing that, Celeste and Melinda wandered away. I thought that was a bit rude. The cow did not seem to mind, however.

Later, Celeste and Melinda waited over 30 minutes to pay $10 to be tortured. And by torture, I mean they willingly allowed themselves to be strapped into a seat, elevated well above the ground, and then spun around and around. This seemed decidedly “unfair,” hence the name of this blog post.

To get back at the powers that be, Celeste ate some of her father’s beard. Oh, Papa’s Beard is the literal translation for cotton candy. I bet you knew that.m