Andy Smallman

This photo was taken many years ago on, get this, a cruise ship. It’s of Ella (on the right) and her cousin Olivia out on the dance floor. It was just the two of them and it was pretty darn fun to watch them.

Ella has always wanted to dance. To nurture her desire, when she was a preschooler we signed her up for a class called “Creative Dance.” At the first session, Melinda and I tried to spy on her without being seen (to see if she was having fun) by peeking through the tiny window in the door. We watched her spin and twirl and move, all with a smile on her face. Confident she had a great time, when class ended we asked her, “Did you have fun?”

Her sweet and profound answer was as prompt as it was telling. “I don’t see how they can call it CREATIVE dance when they tell you what to do!” she exclaimed.

Today’s Question: Do you like to dance?

Years ago I started offering “kindness classes” at PSCS. That may sound strange, as in, “How can somebody *teach* kindness?” Well, actually, I don’t think I *teach* it. I try to give people opportunities to access the inherent kindness within them. Like I said, I started doing that years ago with teenagers at PSCS.

Over the years the idea spread, including going somewhat viral on the Internet a couple of years ago. My classes have been tweeted by the likes of Deepak Chopra and promoted by bestselling author Dan Pink.

I’m telling you all this now because I’m starting an online kindness in two days on Sunday. To participate or check it out, take a look at the Kind Living blog on Sunday night. I’ll have posted the first theme there by then.

Today’s picture is of a kindness act perpetuated by a group of PSCS students back in 1997. That’s Zoe, Gus and Johnny surprising Melinda in the PSCS office with a bouquet of flowers.

Today’s Question: What acts of kindness did you notice today?

I’ve mentioned before that I can get hung up on time. I play these mind games where I think about things like, “24 hours ago I was doing this. 24 hours from now, I’ll be doing that.” Often I extend the game, like I found myself doing last night while reflecting on my college experience, “Let’s see,” I thought, “I started college 26 years ago last fall. 26 years before that it was, let’s see, 1959! I wasn’t even born! Kennedy wasn’t yet president!”

Somehow this all seems strange to me, this time thing. I mean, I can easily remember starting college. But 26 years before that is more than my entire lifetime up to that point.

Now what I didn’t know is that this crazy game I play is contagious. Today Melinda mentioned to me that we’ve been home from France for 168 days. And it’s 168 days until we go back this summer to visit.

In honor of us thinking about France and our friends there, I present today’s picture. It’s of a sign of the Paris Grocery in Seattle.

Today’s Question: How does time play tricks on you?

“The Book of Qualities” is one of my all-time favorite books and one I regularly recommend. J. Ruth Gendler, the author, personifies human characteristics, both in words and in many cases with a drawing. For instance, about patience she writes:

“Patience wears my grandmother’s filigree earrings. She bakes marvelous dark bread. She has beautiful hands. She carries great sacks of peace and purses filled with small treasures. You don’t notice her right away in a crowd, but suddenly you see her all at once, and then she is so beautiful you wonder why you never saw her before.”

Wonderful, yes?

I like to periodically pick up my ragged copy, in which I’ve written notes, and open to a random page. Something meaningful always takes place.

Today’s Question: What’s a book that you often return to?

I just read about this new book called “Emotional Equations” by Chip Conley, the premise of which is that certain emotional truths can be reduced to simple equations. For instance, Conley suggests that Joy = Love – Fear. It’s a pretty cool concept, one that appeals to both my emotional and logical sides. I ordered the book.

Having done so, I found a link on Facebook to a contest in which the winner is flown to San Francisco to have dinner with Conley. Having come up with an equation years ago that I use with PSCS students to help them not compare themselves to others, I entered. Here’s my equation and entry explanation:

Me/Me = You/You
As the director of an innovative middle & high school I often try to help my students not compare themselves to others but to themselves. For instance, I see a student interested in learning the guitar get disillusioned when he compares himself to a friend who has played for years. As a result, he gives up. But if he saw his ability compared to his ability is the same as his friend’s ability compared to his friend’s ability, he may have the motivation to practice.

Today’s photo comes from a wedding ceremony I performed a few years back. Now a wedding, that’s a pretty good emotional equation, right? Although maybe not in the form Conley uses…

Today’s Question: What’s your emotional equation?

I’ve always loved this picture from the summer of 2009. That’s Chloe with her laptop, Skyping with her good friend Alex. What makes this Skype session extra special is that Chloe was on a sailboat in Canadian waters, no electricity or phone lines in sight, and Alex was in South America. I had paid a few bucks for a satellite Internet connection on the sailboat so Chloe could chat with Alex. She was thrilled, as I hope this picture shows.

When you stop and think about it, it’s pretty darn incredible, bordering on the miraculous. A person on a boat in Canada is having a live video conversation with her boyfriend in South America. It’s George Jetson-like, just the kind of thing that it seems we were dreaming about when I was a kid. Video phone calls. Right.

Today’s Question: What technological advance makes the greatest impression on you?

I still have a fair amount of records. You know, music on vinyl that you play on something called a turntable. I set it up this afternoon to digitize some of my Harry Chapin records, which got me appreciating him all again. That lead me to YouTube where I found this homemade animation of his song “Flowers Are Red.”

As Ella has gotten older I’ve shared with her many of my favorite “Harry” songs, my all-time favorite being “Mr. Tanner,” a song that can sometimes bring tears to my eyes. I’m pleased to say that Ella now, on her own, will sometimes listen to Harry Chapin. In honor of that, I include this photo of Ella (and Melinda), taken on her 15th birthday in a French restaurant.

Today’s Question: What is a song that can move you to tears?

Tomorrow morning Chloe heads back to college after having been home for 2 1/2 weeks. It’s been wonderful having her home, of course, and we are a little sorry to see her leaving. We are also excited for her to be back at school, as much as she enjoys it and as much as the time is right in her life for her to be in college.

With her departure I think it’s fair to say that the 2011 holidays are coming to an end for us. Yeah, we’ve been back at school since last Tuesday and our Christmas tree has been down for almost two weeks. But having Chloe home helped extend the holiday a good week into 2012.

Today’s picture comes from a family lunch we took today, the 4 of us heading out for Indian food, Chloe’s perpetual request. It hit the spot just right. And we had to have lunch be our farewell meal together since Chloe had a babysitting job lined up tonight. In fact, smart girl that she is, she had a lot of babysitting jobs over her break.

Today’s Question: What marks the end of the holiday season for you?

Not too long ago I learned of the legend of the Lamed-Vov. The lamedvovnik are 36 righteous people in the world whose job it is to carry the weight of human suffering. No one knows who they are, including the lamedvovnik themselves. Not knowing makes it important for all of us to behave as if WE might be one of the lamedvovnik AND to treat others as if they might be. Why? Because if there are less than 36 lamedvovnik, the world will collapse.

Taking this story to heart creates a new awareness for me. I have a significant responsibility, as do we all, to treat people with compassion, understanding and empathy. What if I am one of the lamedvovnik? What if the bus driver, the baker, or the old man slowly crossing the street in front of me is a member? Thinking this way, it is important I do my part to behave thoughtfully and with kindness, which begins with my smallest actions. When I behave with kindness, I plant positive seeds.

The picture I’m using here is of Melinda’s grandfather, Les Stangl. It was taken a year or two before he died, probably in 2004 or 2005.

Today’s Question: Who did you treat with kindness today?

I’ve been using eBay since 1997, most recently to collect DVDs released as part of the Spiritual Cinema Circle. Not too long ago, a woman posted several that I was missing, all at reasonable “Buy it Now” prices. I snatched them up, one by one, a total of 9 individual purchases, each with its own shipping price. Within a couple of hours I had been refunded $10 by the seller who, while under no obligation to do this, recognized it was silly for me to pay individual shipping costs when the disks could be packaged and sent together. I wrote her a note of appreciation and mentioned the other DVDs I was missing. This was her response to me:

“Hi Andy…I believe deeply that what is given with clear intention and a grateful heart will return a thousand-fold. Spiritual Cinema Circle 2009 Volume 11 featuring “The Shift” with Wayne Dyer will be mailed to you tomorrow via First Class Mail and you should have it in days as my gift to you. Be blessed and know that your kindness created this reality of receiving a gift. And I am enriched by the opportunity of receiving your payment and then giving a gift to you as well.”

Wow!

Today’s photo is an old one. That’s Ella, probably 10 years ago, at our home computer at the time, a Mac Cube.

Today’s Question: What kind thing has a stranger done for you?