Andy Smallman

I’m a few hours back from a weekend retreat hosted by the Center for Courage and Renewal. I’ve long been a big fan of their mission, which is based on the work of speaker, writer, and activist Parker Palmer. What I experienced over the weekend is the closest thing I think I can get to experiencing what it is like to be a student at PSCS. It was honoring, supportive, challenging and uplifting. In another word, it was wonderful.

Over the weekend, I found myself telling the story of the Give & Take Garden that I’ve twice before written about (May 20 and July 4). Clearly, the garden has had a big impact on me, touching me deeply and providing me a renewable source of inspiration. The retreat concluded with what we at PSCS would call an appreciation circle, an opportunity for participants to voice our feelings and reactions to the 3 days worth of activities. As I thought about what to say, an image of the Give & Take Garden came to my mind.

Put simply, what I experienced at the retreat was a form of giving and receiving at a core human level. At that level, at least in my experience, giving and receiving become the same thing. You can’t give without someone receiving, and you can’t receive without someone giving. This concept was fundamental all weekend, from the way the facilitators invited us to participate to how the participants treated each other. The giving and receiving included the location (St. Andrew’s House Retreat & Conference Center in Union, WA), and the food that was lovingly and mindfully prepared for us.

As part of our closing ceremony, the facilitators gave us a token with the word “Courage” on it. I held mine in my hand as we wrapped up, clear that after I got home and before today ended I would place it in the Give & Take Garden. I trust the photos are self-explanatory.

If anyone wants to get a taste of what it’s like to be a PSCS student (or wants to experience the warmth of looking inward with others under expert facilitation), consider attending when this retreat is offered again in November.

Today’s neighborhood treasure and I used to live in the same house. Now I have to travel a little bit further to enjoy it, er, I mean, him. What treasure is this, you ask? My father, of course. And today, on his 83rd birthday, I brought him a beer and made him and my mom dinner. Happy birthday!

As it pertains to the meal, I made Chicken Parmesan with a side of cauliflower rice, a kale/beet/carrot/red cabbage salad, and slices of avocado on the side. I’ve been taking an online Paleo cooking class and the chicken dish was today’s recipe. Being Paleo, there are no grains so no bread for the breadcrumbs. In their place, pork rinds.

I kid you not.

It was absolutely delicious. You can learn a little more about the class I’m taking at this link. Today’s photo is my dad holding his dinner plate.

As an additional tribute to fathers, I include this touching video below. It’s of Steve Goodman singing a song, “My Old Man,” he wrote after his dad died of a heart attack in his 50’s. About Steve Goodman, many don’t know that they actually have heard of him. He wrote the song “City of New Orleans” made famous by Arlo Guthrie. He also wrote the song “Go, Cubs, Go” that Chicago Cubs fans were all singing on their way to their team finally winning the World Series last year.

Goodman, himself, died young, succumbing to cancer in 1984 at age 36. His best friend is another singer, a man named John Prine who is one of my songwriting heroes. To this day, Prine sings “My Old Man” in his concerts as a tribute to his friendship to Goodman. It’s how I first heard the song.

Dads, go figure.

I was out walking this evening to deliver a dinner I had made for a good friend, who was recently injured, and his family. On my way over, while walking along NE 63rd Street between 20th and 21st Aves NE, I found a herd of horses on the side yard of a house. They looked proud and regal, one was even rearing. Knowing I had found another neighborhood treasure, I snapped their picture.

A few steps further along, on the other side of the walkway to the backdoor (I presume) of the house, I encountered another unexpected treasure, four dinosaurs around a drinking pool.

This is not something one sees every day, horses and dinosaurs in the Ravenna neighborhood of Seattle!

I encourage you to take a walk in whatever you define as your neighborhood with the idea of finding a treasure of your own.

Since introducing you to the Give & Take Garden, I’ve been on the lookout for what I’m now calling “neighborhood treasures.” These are things that have a special feel to them, something that someone has obviously put some extra time in to creating. I give extra points to those treasures intended to please others, although I want to fully count those that people make for their own enjoyment.

Regarding the former, a couple of nights ago I took this picture of Wizard’s Walk while out walking with Bentsen (click on the photo to see it larger – that way you can better see the sign). We were on our way to the Give & Take Garden to drop off a toy car and came upon this treasure. The way the evening sun was illuminating it added to its splendor, but clearly this is splendid all by itself. For those of you wanting to see it in person, it’s on the south side of NE 60th Street between 28th & 29th Aves NE. Yes, that means it’s about a 5 minute walk away from the Give & Take Garden.

This is an elaborate creation that takes up most of the parking strip. It clearly involved some serious planning. I’m imagining that the idea for it came from a child, but that at least one supportive adult, someone who takes time to understand and appreciate childhood, helped make it a reality.

Then again, maybe it was made by a bunch of wizards…

In yesterday’s post I made reference to the number 143, quickly explaining that the number means “I love you.” The backstory goes way back, maybe 15 years or so ago when I was explaining Abraham Maslow’s concept of self-actualization to a group of PSCS students. I was looking for a human example, someone with whom the students might be familiar, and I chose Fred Rogers. Yes, that Mr. Rogers, he of the famous children’s TV show on PBS.

I had recently read a brilliantly written article by Tom Junod that was both an interview with and biography of Mr. Rogers that had appeared in Esquire Magazine in 1998. If you ever need a pick-me-up of any kind, I highly recommend it. Esquire has it archived here. It’s a long article but worth every minute you’ll spend reading it. You’ll emerge warmed for doing so, your faith in humanity restored (if you need it restored). Really.

So… In the article Mr. Rogers tells Tom Junod that for as long as he can remember he’s weighed 143 pounds. Getting on the scale each day, he’s looked at the dial and seen 143. Being Mr. Rogers, he decided there was some meaning for him in this. He told himself, there is 1 letter in the word I, 4 letters in the word love, and 3 letters in the word you. 1-4-3 = I love you. So each day Mr. Rogers saw a message of self-love on his bathroom scale.

I read the article to my students and while reading it got intrigued by an idea. We’d recently been talking about how something goes “viral.” Now like I said, this is maybe 15 years ago, before “going viral” was as common of a phrase as it is now. I asked the students what it might take for something to go viral, and if they wanted to try to start a little movement of positivity to see if somehow it might go viral. I brought them back to the 143 section of the article.

One of the moms at PSCS had a button maker and used it to make all kinds of fun buttons, things she gave away or sold as part of her crafts business. I thought she might make some 143 buttons for us, things we could wear and give away. So the 143 movement began.

Before we were done we had a store that sold 143 shirts on Café Press (it’s still there – in fact, you can still buy a 143 shirt or a button!) and a hoard of interested people. I can’t say the idea ever went viral but it sure touched a lot of people.

One person touched was my niece, Stephanie. She, herself, was a high school student at the time and tried to promote the idea at her very large public high school. I don’t think it got too far there, but Stephanie did find the 143 rock at a shop at the Pike Place Market soon thereafter. It had the same font I had chosen, yet it wasn’t something my students and I made. We took this as a positive sign and Stephanie gave me the rock for Christmas.

Here’s where the story keeps being fun for me. A couple of days after I left the 143 rock at the Give and Take Garden in May this year, Bentsen and I were walking in our neighborhood. Not far from our house is one of the storage facilities for National Barricade, a company that builds and distributes road construction signs and equipment. As usual, parked along the sidewalk was a huge piece of equipment that can be programmed to deliver a specific message. There are many of these, of course, and each comes with its own number. Two days after dropping of the 143 rock at the Give and Take Garden, you know what number was on the equipment.

I took these pictures and sent them via text to Stephanie.

Postscript – Two years ago I again tried to generate some interest in the 143 concept by inviting people to make a poem out of words found on page 143 of any book that held meaning for them. I posted these on a blog that you can view here. If the idea interests you, send me one!

Soon after my last post, I brought a friend to the Give & Take Garden. For this visit, we “gave” a special rock that was given to me several years ago by my niece, Stephanie. Etched into the rock were the numbers “143,” a reference significant to me because of a project I started years ago with a group of PSCS students. In short, 1-4-3 means “I love you” (1 letter, 4 letters, 3 letters). I’ll explain more in a future post very soon, one related to my neighborhood treasures idea.

Ella joined Bentsen and me for a walk to the garden in June. On that visit we brought along a little toy car to give. I was pleased to see that the 143 rock was gone, which means to me that someone thought enough of it to take it. Give and take, right?

Speaking of giving and taking, I hesitated for a minute taking the ring, thinking that perhaps the taking should all be done by children. Standing at the garden, I was quickly reminded of a philosophy of accepting things that I shared in a recent kindness class. The idea is that there is no giving without someone receiving (or taking). So by taking the ring, I think I was better utilizing the garden’s main purpose. I even wrote about this idea on this blog over 5 years ago! Take a look.